DBF,

This may sound a little triggering to some, but my intention behind these words come from a place of acceptance, trust and ultimately, freedom.

I don’t know if you’ve heard of the concept some believe in, whereby we choose to be here and choose our experiences but today it dawned on me, in the gentlest way possible that I chose to experience everything I’ve encountered on this journey so far. The good and not-so-good parts.

I do not say this to reduce the experiences and trauma that anyone goes through, light knows that I have my fair share of that that I am working through and releasing but there is a sense of calm and freedom in knowing this.

As a child, I always believed that everything happened for a reason. And it was for a good reason, even if I didn’t know it at that point. At some moment in time, I would understand why; and that has been the case of my life so far. Even during the moments where my faith wavered a little.

Right now, I feel within me a sense of calm.

I chose this. I chose all of it. The pain, the knowledge, the darkness, the clouds…all of it in this human experience so I would know what it felt like. It wasn’t fair at times, but I am so much stronger because of it. And I now carry within me a stripes and a shield I can use to help others who are going through something similar, or better yet…I can use my scars as guiding lights so they don’t have to carry as many on their vessels.

My experience of someone taking advantage of my body and vulnerability under the guise of friendship allowed me to understand how to take my power back even in the face of profound loneliness. It is possible.

It’s allowed me to be a confirmation and stand in solidarity while I tried to provide comfort in some small way to a younger friend who was on the brink of a similar experience. Thank goodness it didn’t get as far, but the pain and shame that it carried was no less heavy.

To anyone who needs to hear this, read my words and hold them in your heart :

It is not your fault. Predators have planned it out in their sick minds. You are no less because of that experience.
You are still and always have been worthy of good things.
That person is in the wrong. You are no less because of that experience.
I see you. I see your power.
I see your light.
You are remarkable.
I love you. Hugs.

Back to what I was telling you earlier, I see it now. I’m starting to see all the pieces come together.

I chose to be here. I am so grateful and I can’t wait to see what this next era of my life holds. I walk ahead now practicing carrying peace and gratitude within. With love and acceptance in my heart for all the versions of me who didn’t know any better and who did her best to survive, to learn, to grow and to love.

I have so much love to give. This is my mission and my truth.
This is why serendipity at midnight exists. It is a safe space.

The path with open as I continue stepping forward and come home to me.

If you’re reading this and would like to share your story, it would be my honour to connect with you and hold space. If you’re going through a hard time, please reach out. There are people who care. I love you. Hang in there. Tutto passa.

Sending you an abundance of love and stardust,
Maya